♪ ♪ >> sean: unfortunately that is all the time we have left this evening as always thank you for being with us. please set your dvr so you never missed an episode of "hannity". news any time all the time foxnews.com hannity.com. i have great news in the meantime let not your heart be troubled. why? gutfeld standing by next put a smile on your face. of the great night.

[applause] ♪ ♪ >> kat: happy wednesday everyone. i'm kat timpf welcome to a special edition of gutfeld. let's kick -- kick things off with some jokes. jamie lee curtis is in talks to star in a movie version of the classic murder series murder she wrote however, the title is now yogurt she pooped. so. president biden at long last commented on drone sightings terrifying residents on east coast pricing look at the flying christmas trees. the latest skincare trend is slathering your faith -- faced with beef towel. activists say it curates wrinkles and cures acne and

leads to an 80% higher chance of getting chased by a pack of wild dogs. researchers say two-thirds of teens do not during, smoke, or use marijuana, leading to fears that leonardo dicaprio's dates are lame. on the state in 1787 new jersey became the third state to ratify the u.s. constitution. this is interesting. of the handful of delegates responsible for dudes named vinnie. let's do a monologue. full of lies what we look to the skies? last night president biden finally addressed the drone sightings on the east coast alluding to the idea it could be copycats. >> checking it all out. a lot of drones authorized. one started and everybody wanting to get in the deal. >> kat: all this time i thought of getting and somebody

steel was hunter's thing. the fbi has more than 5000 tips of report to drone sightings over the last month and pretty much everyone has taken what they think going on. this includes a bethenny frankel from your -- real housewives of new york to set this. >> you would think i'm nuts but why should this day be different than any other day? i knew this guy whose father worked with pentagon and nasa and secret projects. he has been watching the situation and now several days ago before it became a discussion and the mainstream media, that these drones are ours and that they could very possibly be sniffing out something very dangerous. >> kat: first of all, big congratulations to the one person at home who bet money that i would mention it bethenny frankel tonight. a lot of people are just calling her an idiot but let's be real for a moment.

you don't turn a spent -- a stint on bravo into a beverage empire worth nine figures by being an idiot. and i do not know why you would bother to giving criticism to somebody who can respond to it and such an iconic fashion. >> you are topless you kissed another woman and you're going to mention it? we will mention it. >> mentioned it all! >> kat: thank you. yes. a lot of people are calling her crazy for her drone theories and she has posted about it -- posted about it a few times now but i think the truth is it is hard to blame admin -- anybody looking for explanations at this point. for one think the government has handled this whole thing terribly. for the longest time they did not even tried to give us answers. they were saying stuff like we do not know what these drones are but we do know there is nothing to worry about. the first sightings were reported in jersey of november 18th but it was

not until two days ago that we got this joint statement from the dod, fbi, faa, and ahs. we assess that the sightings today include a combination of lawful commercial drones, obvious drones, and law enforcement drones, as well as man fixed wing aircraft, helicopters, and stars mistakenly reported as drones. the point is they have waited so long to say anything it is hard to trust them or take them seriously. especially considering their track record. how many of the things that the government insisted were conspiracies in recent years have turned out to be completely true. the chinese spy balloon, hunters laptop being hunters laptop. joe biden being sharp as a tack. in other words when there is lie after lie and cover up after cover up you can't blame people for questioning the government's official story. the same with people going after rfk jr. to be clear i totally disagree with some of the stuff he thinks. i do like some of it but i also

think that some of it is nuts and if you want to call some of it nuts also i got that. but i think it is so misguided two after the nuts opinions without alex -- examining how we got to the point where people are listening to him in the first place. which is that they were lied to and gas lit by the experts repeatedly regarding covid-19. like when greg promised us all a christmas bonus. >> still waiting. >> kat: let's see this as an opportunity. instead of sea mink each other for looking for answers when it comes to the drones, leche and the reason we got to this point. the government. let's demand that they do better and unite around which should be a shared value, transparency. and i don't even say all of this because i kind of fun bethenny frankel to be my friend. for my record i do kind of want that because i want to lose most of my baby weight on maternity leave and i feel like she would do a great job of being mean to me for eating. and i mean that as a compliment. [applause]

>> hear he is. >> kat: let's welcome tonight's guests. he left two christmas caroling after 12 eggnog's. commedia joe machi! angels put her on the top of the christmas tree. host the fox news monday shannon bream. the only way his kids are excited to see him is if he dresses up as santa, actor writer comedian jamie lissow. and his gingerbread house is the size of a regular house because he is fake. "new york times" best-selling author, comedian, tyrus! [applause] >> kat: shannon, as a serious and news anchor with a serious journalist reputation, why don't you tell me what are some of your favourite conspiracy theories? >> let's start with the drone think. you mentioned people do not trust the government.

they kind of only have themselves to blame. people are asking this question all the time we are pulling do you trust the federal government to do the right thing? most or almost always 22% of americans. >> kat: seems high to me. >> exactly right. but think about if you have been lied to are misled or conspiracy theories come true six, 12 months later, people do not have trust in the government. so to tell us we do not know what it is but do not be afraid and the military says we have nothing to do with it? remember you mentioned that that is an opening. it was spotted in february of last year by a guy randomly in montana taking pictures of the sky. then we find out it can't be shot down over the whole of united states because it might hurt people. then we found out and january it was floating over islands where it would not have not there to shoot it down. people have reason to distrust. >> kat: i agree with that. somebody on the staff wrote an unbelievably crazy question for you jamie.

i would never say this but this is a question for you. jamie, the fbi believes the source of the drones are coming from quotes, the home of a sad and lonely divorced father who is using them to fight his ex-wife as she makes love to more successful and better looking men. >> wow. >> kat: what are you thinking about? i did not write this question. >> i can relate to all of that except for how to operate a drone it. [laughter] they showed biden a video of the orbit. remember? it went from or up to drone they showed him a tape of the orb and he said he did not know what that is. then they showed him a picture of the constitution and a banana and he said he did not know what that was in. -- what that was. i heard that one of these things crashed in new jersey. cross -- across the street from a lowe's hardware store.

100 employees ran out to see it and i was astonished that they had 100 employees. because i have been in there and they scare away when i'm in there. i would like to say i think we need to blast these out of the sky. that is what i believe. i would be happy to introduce the government to all of the women i have ever talked to who effortlessly were able to shoot me down. [applause] >> well played. >> kat: tyrus, you are out and jersey. do you see drones? >> we see them. it is amazing. all the employees show up when i show up. weird, they want to carry me around which is not easy to do. i think it is funny that bethenny? was that the name? was more clear and gave us a better understanding of what she thought, even though her sources was a friend of a friend of a guy who knew a guy he worked at

nasa? made way more sense than our president. who is first of all, whose bright idea was it to let him speak at night. that was strike one. strike to outside at night. and his best idea was some are good, some are other people, and they are all up and somebody else's deal. >> kat: yes. >> i'm going two with the housewife on this one. and that is sad. that is really sad. >> he really did look like they just woke him up. like using one of those paddles. >> no follow-up question. mr. president , of the people's press, what is the deal? it is sad. >> kat: what do you think mr. joe machi. >> i agree with everything that has been said so far but i feel like we have not touched on the fact that the government is kind of insulting our intelligence a

little bit. you know. they said people are mistaking the drones for something that is actually a star. really? hey, there is our drone at my roofline. loops. that is not a drone that is... i was off by 860 light-years. [laughter] they government allies so much. even if they were telling the truth and the disaster i would not believe them at this point. like if they said like aliens invaded i would not believe that it was aliens. like, okay,, joe, now it is time for the probe. that is like mike johnson with the omnibus back there, right? [laughter] [applause]

>> kat: shannon, you will have them on on sunday, right? >> he is our featured guest. i feel like you to, like we would be friends in another lifetime but i'm also slightly scared of her. >> kat: i need to fear so i won't eat. >> kind of like... who by the way, china's, if you know her she is a fox news right or die but if you do not know her you should be afraid but she would encourage you to eat. so if you were looking for that maternity thing. >> kat: you can't have anything except carrots and skinny girl margarita. >> what newmont does not dream of that? >> kat: absolutely. up next is she still boozing after losing? but first, this. ♪ ♪ >> gutfeld holiday memories. >> i will never forget the time i staff and i sang christmas carols outside greg's place in the city. it was something, he surprised us with hot cocoa.

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♪ ♪ >> it is coming your way it is a video of the day. [applause] >> kat: is kamala getting wiser or does she need a breathalyzer? video of the day comes to us from vice president kamala harris. the vice president right now. but you forgot she is still in power. she spoke to maryland community college students and this is how she greeted them. >> good morning, everyone. have a seat, please. good morning. [laughter]

i just love seeing all of our younger leaders. you know? i look at all of you i know and i feel so strongly, the future of our country is bright. it is bright because of all of you. >> kat: it was not even noon yet, lady. here is some more. >> the true test of our commitment is weather in the face of an obstacle do we throw up our hands? or do we roll up our sleeves? and as we approach. [laughter] [applause] >> kat: at what [bleep] was so funny? if she weren't cracking herself up that place would be silent as

a joe machi show. joe devito wrote that. and finally, here's this. >> i ask if you this that those here and anybody watching, that you will not walk away. and i ask you to remember the context in which you exist. yes, i did that. [applause] [laughter] >> oh, my god. >> kat: i would say i want what she is having but it would probably kill my baby. [applause] thank you! i really wanted to say that and then they were like don't say kill, kat, i was like know it is a funny and you guys prove me right. thank you. tyrus, what is going on here?

>> first of all i think we all have to understand when she makes her speech it is a 5:00 somewhere. that is number 1. okay? number 2 the reason why they were laughing when she said that speech is because what you don't see is the handlers in the front with the sign it going for the love of god, a cheer or she will keep talking. cheer. that is a whole other level of drunk. that is like closing times two and the bartender is it being nice and it is a 4:00 a.m. and that is when you start talking about life. she is past the point of drunkenness. there is a's going no more. and you know what some point the bartender is like we have no more [bleep] liquor, go home. and she is like please stop talking. please don't talk anymore don't

do any more speeches in the context of what it is. to speak. i will no longer play ball goes to that [bleep] because i feel like i'm encouraging alcoholism. >> kat: you know when fisher said and the street there are those dudes in parking lots selling balloons for the nitrous oxide? i always wonder what they do the rest of the year when fish is not touring and now i know. >> that was insane. she seems like the kind of person you caught her drinking the flat of a flask after you took it away she would take another flask out of her pocket. that was crazy. that was a disaster. i feel like people can show their commitment to just if they sat through that [bleep]. she was talking about commitment, she needs to download oh, no, -- uno lingo. i did hear in her formative years she had a nanny who spoke

gibberish. [laughter] it was like it was on the wrong speed. when you first started playing get i was like is this a gutfeld bit? that is actually her. whenever she is talking i expect her two press zero to talk to a live person. by the way, a lot of the stroke to expire january 20th so i have to get them in. [applause] i watched it at home on closed caption and the lady just wrote lately put this job and left. there was a sign language interpreter and she shrugged. that should have been the last one. honestly the only woman i have seen more repetitive than her is the lady that goes caution, the moving walkway is and thing. cautioned the moving walkway is and thing. we need to be done with her eye am tired of this. >> kat: in a related story president biden told of podcast called pitchfork economics was

the reason she lost was the media. not anything else the media. what do you think? >> he was blaming alternative media and the interesting thing is they were telling the truth while them real mainstream media were staging press conferences. prewritten questions and answers. if we are going to have fixed each press conferences you might as well have actors interview the president. just not alec baldwin. [laughter] >> that was abrupt. that was very abrupt. i can also talk about kamala. she, to me, is like a super villain. because she laughs at her own jokes. when she has power a lot of people get killed. [laughter] with the interesting thing is like she even laughed when she said good morning. i do not know what is funny about saying good morning and cops and robbers is one of my

favourite movies. [applause] >> kat: shannon, did he take all of your answers? >> he did we are clearly sharing material. i did think, but my version of seeing her was like she was delightfully unscathed at the ballot box. she keeps showing up and seems very optimistic. sea mink optimistic talking about the future pulled and got the top and every democrat and washington tonight is like guess, do that. when she comes and makes appearances like this they are definitely cheering for her. i have to say, president biden, that interview he did where he blamed the media, he said people are not getting their news from good sources. he said i think people under 25 only 5-7% of them read newspapers and i was like i don't think 5% of them have even read a newspaper or know what it is. there is a massive disconnect there and young voters they

flocked to president trump and numbers that have not happened to republicans or democrats and a long time. [applause] >> kat: i will admit i'm a little bit jealous of her because i have a harder time getting over less embarrassing setbacks than she has. she appears to be having a wonderful time. >> that's what i'm saying. >> she is numb to it all. >> kat: she is like everything is funny everything is wonderful. good for you and away. >> maq he is right because if she was blank a super valid and my movie and she laughed like that i would go let's take it down a notch. >> the problem is she would not be a good super villain because every -- every super villain always tells the good guys their planned. and what would happen when she goes to tell her planet? >> kat: the opportunity economy. whatever that is. up next, will the pelosi's be dismayed if biden bans a stock trade?

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we all use unstopables. looks like he does to! smell unstopable. ♪ ♪ >> of story in five words. >> kat: story and five words. biden getting revenge against nancy? machi, and assumed to be released interview president biden endorsed a ban on congressional stock trading say nobody in congress should be able to make money off the stock market while they are in congress. could this be his way of getting back at nancy pelosi whose absence has made up a jillion dollars in the stock market? >> i think it is very suspicious because kyle pelosi is one of the greatest stock traders in history and he is a terrible driver. i'm at great driver and i plot -- bought blockbuster video and 2009. i think congress should follow

the same rules as the rest of us. i can't tamper with witnesses i can't get pulled over for a dui and say officer, i'm going to greg gutfeld. i can't get fancy with somebody at a theatre performance of beetlejuice. unless lauren bogert returns my calls. it seems like there is one set of rules for congress and then another for me and george santos. [applause] >> kat: shannon, there is a bipartisan proposal by members of congress and their families. has it gone to vote yet and what do you think of the likelihood? >> there is a lot of talk that never gets across the finish line. by the way, speaker pelosi -- former speaker pelosi has gone against that on a number of occasions. and i have to say that she says that she does not trade in stocks and she has no knowledge of what her husband makes.

i would say when something happens with the supreme court's post, people go crazy on the justice. numerous in-depth pieces on justice... on the flanks that have flown over different homes. when his wife does something he is automatically responsible for it it does not seem to happen with pelosi. >> kat: jamie, as paul pelosi just a really good guess or? >> not all the time. >> kat: not all the time. >> when i'm not here i do a little thing called waiting until it is my turn to come back here. paul i think we have to say it is a possible that nancy, she is married, but it is possible she did not know. i think that is a fair thing to say. for instance, my ex-wife was training bodily fluids with somebody and i had no idea. [laughter] she eventually traded me for another man. i'm trying to get for the benefit of the doubt. >> kat: i saw a man and the

audience emphatically shake his head. or you, okay,, sir? >> that is a more common reaction to my stuff than laughter. i feel like he uses every little thing he gets. i met paul pelosi the next day after a party and keep it a $5 million on the gift of... i heard you talk to gutfeld once and heard he was having a new... and he sold all of his stephen colbert and jimmy kimmel stock the next day. they should be illegal. it is disgusting. you should be punished i'm with trump. he should face punishment. >> kat: tyrus? do you think this is about nancy? getting back at nancy? >> not necessarily about nancy. because nancy and the democrats took away the influence that the biden family no longer has. they can no longer sell influence. they can go up -- not go to and for an interview and say my dad is the president and go that guy

can't speak [bleep] we are good. it is a little bit too late. it is shocking and then biden is like they should not be able to do... they are already up 250 billion whatever the amount of money they are making each year. oh, no,, we won't do it anymore. how much money do they? the only problem is her husband needs to make better choices and the men he meets. [applause] >> kat: shannon, do you think any legislation should also ban the spouses? >> that is a tricky thing because there are limits on what they can do but then people will say with my spouse we don't ever discuss things. like i said in washington that works in one way. if it is a couple where democrats are more liberal people will think that women and men in a marriage or whoever their partner is they think independently but they do not apply the same rules to conservatives. >> i do not care what party you

were in if i make $250 million she would have something to say to me when i got home. >> kat: guaranteed. [applause] >> just had a great day at work made $3 billion and it did not come up at dinner? >> kat: i stop listening when he brings up numbers i can't listen. >> paul pelosi did better than... a from back to the future win she went back in the timeline. making better wagers. >> kat: all right. coming up, my favourite story. can getting a bob help you bury your mom?

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sheldon: you know they say, losing hope, that's the real disaster. when tropical storm fred sent a devastating wall of water and debris down this river, it seemed hopeless. but when the waters receded, belfor was here.

not just to rebuild, but to help restore the life of this community. belfor. restoring more than property. >> is this a wrong? [applause] ♪ ♪ >> kat: tonight on is the wrong? a funeral home in columbus, ohio will serve booze when it opens next year. all we like it here. on the one hand i feel like the dead person might want to be celebrated and booze is not known for its ability to make motions lesser. how would your family handle this? >> the machis would have quite

the shindig. my favourite type of funeral is open casket -- casket, open bar. you never have to tip because you are grieving and i personally enjoy the social lubricant because it helps me pick up widows. but i also get to be the rock you know? people are like i'm really sad and i am like do not worry i brought pretzels. [applause] >> kat: yes. tire is, how would your family handle this? >> first we would have to meet each other. meeting dad at the funeral would be awkward. >> kat: so alcohol could take the edge off. >> first of all i think it is cultural appropriation. i think the irish would be pissed if we took away the funeral. this is not good a lot of truth will come out that we do not need to know. a few drinks in and the wife is thanking god he is gone. and she looks at her sister and

dislike do not think i don't know it is you in 1973 that he was screwing around with and two of your kids look just like mine. it is going two anywhere and at some point the sun he left a little less is going to yell at him and shake and why did you not love me more? the brothers are fighting and i am in the back going i love it. keep the alcohol where it is at. >> kat: jamie, the owner says he wants to quote, shut the businesses reputation of being dark and morbid. >> that happens to a lot of funeral homes. i love this idea. i would like to have my funeral there. i would love to have kamala harris at my funeral. that would be super cool. i think it is a fine idea. help you take the edge off. this got me thinking about dying a lot though. this story. i was thinking if i ever died on gutfeld they would have to remove some of my makeup when involving.

>> kat: that is true. >> you really want to kamala harris at your funeral? you would wake up and you are like shut up. i will live, please stop talking. >> i feel liquefied that my ex-wife would be like at least i am not suffering anymore. >> kat: what do you think, shannon? idea? that idea? >> i love that the funeral director says he wants to be a party planner for dead people. he is telling dislike there will be a celebration. and people handle grief and all kinds of different ways. i think it would be fun when it gets to the reading of the will. attorneys should be had two the alcohol because that is when the truth will come out. people will freak and afterwards everybody is lubricated and then you read the will and the truth comes out. >> i was not going two there but you brought it up. did you guys see the kid he was pushing this idea? he is a perfect example of nepotism. the old man he is like that, i can really help with the funeral

home. >> look how young he is. >> kat: i think is adorable. >> he looks like beavis. instead of doing his job he is like we are going to make it a party and we are going to be dancing. and his dad is like that is all well and good but their loved ones are dying because their mom is dead and you want to give them a party. dance your ass off over there. but him trying to make a funeral home at a bar? it is happy hour drinks at our? it does not work. >> kat: i feel like it can be so awkward. everybody at the funeral was so scared to come up and talk to me when my mom died. and i felt awkward and bad that my situation is making you uncomfortable. had they been drunk i probably would be able to get them off of me. >> i agree i was like my dad's funeral all of these speeches are so sobering. i love this kid, man. i think it is cool that even though he is a vampire he cares.

one of those teenagers. >> kat: and we can be like whatever you care about this issue we can agree on one thing, this manner rides a skateboard. [applause] >> he looks like a young charlie hurt to me. i like him. >> you are right. >> he has a barrette in his hair. >> kat: does he? i can't see. i think he looks like i don't know. >> the best part during a funeral is the impromptu on asked for. >> danger zone. >> kat: i do not think it is that weird, jamie. i think it will be a smashing success. i think bodies will be coming from all over to be buried and columbus, ohio. >> i have this thing where i want to get a laugh during my funeral. and what if we came up and it was an open casket and what if when you came up just my legs were showing. the other thing is what if i had

a covid mask and when i was open. >> kat: now we are talking. up next, what if christmas was merry with your terrier? , they have to make a choice- one versus the other. new sensodyne clinical white, it provides 2 shades whiter teeth as well as providing 24/7 sensitivity protection. patients are going to love to see sensodyne on the shelf. is a bitcoin etf the same as owning bitcoin directly? while bitcoin etfs might offer a familiar face, they lack the true ownership and flexibility of directly investing in bitcoin. with itrustcapital you can buy and sell real bitcoin 24/ 7 with the tax advantages of an ira. real bitcoin means no middleman, no restricted stock market hours.

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>> if you think of videos of pets is as good as it gets all your furry dreams come true it is time to celebrate greg's animal friends. ♪ ♪ celebrate greg's animal friends ♪ ♪ >> kat: even though he is not here we can still do greg's animal friends. tyrus, why don't you go first? >> this is christmas time as you know and this year we decided to gift my pair of tree monitors a swimming pool in their cage and we put it in there and set it up and way where the excited. check it out. [laughter] ungrateful son of old they are they go. i work and i and i put a pool in there i put a fish in there, one of them jumps in and of course

the female it was like i don't know. i want to hot dog. beautiful baby's going to be cool. [applause] >> kat: very cute. jamie? >> one thank you can do if you own i really, really ugly pet is to teach them a trick to distract people from looking at their ugly face. if we can take a look here. we see. >> go go all right get your hand out. good, boy. go go. yes! good boy. [applause] up. go, go, go. spin. good boy! good job! >> impressive it. >> a lot of people look at this and they go that looks like a dog that is good at basketball. i look at this and i think that is a dog that got punched in the

face every time it missed lay up. that is why it got so good. does the skill not distract from how ugly he is? that is how i learned to juggle. >> kat: so cute. >> he was abused. >> i think he is born that way. sometimes ugly is just ugly. >> kat: shannon? >> i have a little raccoon friend i would like you to meet he is also a cautionary tale of. you will notice he is dressed up for christmas time. this is what you look like at your office party when you during too much. [laughter] you think you are looking good. you see he gives up at some point the costume is often. this is what will happen if you let it go at the office party in a way that is not responsible. so he is representing. >> kat: open bar is not a treat it as a trap. >> he is at a funeral right there. >> kat: in ohio. >> hopefully it is not at

new york. >> r.i.p. frederictonian and peanuts the squirrel. >> it is always the raccoon wearing the airplane skate masks. >> i will try two on more of a positive note here. here is a video of a dog jumping on a chair. hear he is. jumping on this chair. look at this chair. it flips. and i blame the chair. it slipped way to -- flipped way too easily. it flipped way to -- like simone biles and a bouncy house. but this is dedicated to greg gutfeld. i have not seen a dog fall off a chair like that since joy be hard. >> i love how he leaves the scene like he had nothing to do with it. i'm not -- i do not know what happened to your not

responsible. >> kat: and then how are they filming. is that like a camera? >> one of those little doggy cameras for the super... >> kat: i feel like that is also a trap. >> watching your dog at home and they are like look at him and the dog thinks he is seeing and hearing voices. probably sat in a chair and they are like, hey,, buddy. and he is like don't do that. he is a dog. i can't live in this house. first of all, why do you have a giant english at wolfhounds in a tiny apartment? get him a backyard. >> i did get one of those i got one of those teddy bear cameras to watch my nanny but by mistake i put it on tripod. it was really obvious it was a camera. >> kat: on that note do not go away because we will be right back.

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