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happy wednesday everyone! >> i'm kat timpf. welcome to a special edition of gutfeld! let's kick things off with some jokes. jamie lee curtis is in talks to star in a movie version of the classic tv series murder, she wrote. however, the title is now yogurt. she pooped. so dumb. president biden at long last commented on drone sightings terrifying residents on the east coast by saying, look at those flying christmas trees. wow. the latest skincare trend is slathering your face with beef tallow. fans say their rendered cow fat cures acne, fights wrinkles and leads to an 80% greater chance of getting chased by a pack of wild dogs.

researchers say more than two thirds of u.s. teens don't drink, smoke or use marijuana, leading to fears that leonardo dicaprio's dates are lame. oh, wow. on this day in 1787, new jersey became the third state to ratify the u.s. constitution. and this is interesting, of the handful of delegates responsible for were dudes named vinnie. all right, let's do a monologue. is the government full of lies while we look to the skies? so last night, president biden finally addressed the drone sightings on the east coast, alluding to the idea that that it could be copycats. >> nothing nefarious, apparently. if they're checking it all out, i think it's just one. there's a lot of drones authorized up there. i think one started and they all got it. everybody want to get in on the deal. >> and all this time, i thought getting in someone's deal was hunter's thing. now the fbi's

got more than 5000 tips of reported drone sightings over the last month. and pretty much everyone's got a take on what they think might be going on. this includes bethenny frankel from the real housewives of new york, who said this. >> you're going to think i'm nuts, but why should today be any different than any other day? i know this guy whose father worked with the pentagon and nasa and like, secret projects. he's been watching this situation. and now several days ago, before it became a discussion in the mainstream media, that these drones are ours and that they could very possibly be sniffing out something very dangerous. >> first of all, big congrats to the one person at home who bet money that i mentioned bethenny frankel tonight. a lot of people are just calling her an idiot, but let's be real for a second, okay? you don't turn a stint on bravo into a beverage empire worth an

estimated nine figures by being an idiot, and i, low key, don't even know why you'd bother to give criticism to someone who can respond to it in such an iconic fashion. okay, you were topless. you had sex on a waterbed, you kissed another woman. >> and you know what? i never mentioned that. but you want to mention it. >> now we'll mention it. >> mention it all. mention it all. >> yeah. thank you. yes. so a lot of people are calling her crazy for her drone theories, and she's posted about it a few times now. but the truth is, i think it's really hard to blame anyone looking for explanations at this point. because for one thing, the government has handled this whole thing terribly. for the longest time. they didn't even try to give us answers. they were saying stuff like, we don't know what these drones are, but we do know there's nothing to worry about. the first sightings were reported in jersey on november 18th, but it wasn't until two days ago that we got this joint

statement from the dod, fbi, faa, and dhs. we assess that the sightings to date include a combination of lawful commercial drones, hobbyist drones and law enforcement drones, as well as manned fixed wing aircraft, helicopters and stars mistakenly reported as drones. the point is, they waited so long to say anything, it's hard to trust them or take them seriously, especially considering their track record. how many of the things the government insisted were conspiracy theories in recent years have turned out to be totally true. the covid lab leak theory, the chinese spy balloon hunter's laptop being hunter's laptop, joe biden being sharp as a tack. in other words, when there's lie after lie and cover up after cover up, you can't blame people for questioning the government's official story. it's the same with people going after rfk jr. to be clear, i totally disagree with some of the stuff he thinks i do like some of it, but i also think that some of it is nuts. and if you want to

call some of it nuts also, i get that, but i think it's so misguided to go after the nuts opinions without examining the whole of how we got to the point where people are listening to him in the first place, which is that they were lied to and gaslit by the experts repeatedly regarding covid. like when greg promised us all a christmas bonus. so let's see this as an opportunity. instead of shaming each other for looking for answers when it comes to the drones, let's shame the reason we got to this point the government. let's demand that they do better and unite around what should be a shared value transparency. and i don't even say all this because i kind of want bethenny frankel to be my friend. i mean, for the record, i do kind of want that, though, because i want to lose most of my baby weight on maternity leave, and i kind of feel like she would do a great job of being mean to me for eating, and i mean that as a compliment. period. let's

welcome tonight's guests. he loves to go christmas caroling after 12 eggnogs comedian joe machi. angels put her on the top of their christmas trees. host of fox news sunday, shannon breen. the only way his kids are excited to see him as if he dresses as santa. actor, writer comedian jamie lasalle. and his gingerbread house is the size of a regular house because he is big new york times bestselling author, comedian, and former nwa world champion tyron. all right. shannon, so as a serious news anchor with a serious journalist reputation, why don't you tell me, what are some of your favorite conspiracy theories? oh, well, let's start with the drone thing, because you mentioned that people do not trust the government. >> they kind of only have themselves to blame. so i went

back and looked pew polling that asked this question all the time. do you trust the federal government to do the right thing? most or almost always, 22% of americans? yeah, i mean, that's pretty rough. >> so seems high to me. yeah. >> exactly. right. audience might be lower here. yes. but do you think about if you've been lied to or misled or conspiracy theories come true six months, 12 months later, people just don't have any trust in the government. so to tell us we don't know what it is, but also don't be afraid. yeah. and the military says we have nothing to do with it. i mean, remember the chinese spy balloon? you mentioned that in the opening. it was spotted in february of last year by a guy who, just randomly in montana, was taking pictures of the sky. then we find out it can't be shot down over the whole united states because it might hurt people. then we find out they knew in january that it was floating around over islands, that it wouldn't have mattered to shoot it down over there. so people have plenty of reason to distrust. >> i agree with that, jamie. somebody else on the staff wrote an absolutely unbelievable question for you. okay, i would never say this, but this is what this is the

question that was written for jamie. jamie, the fbi believes the source of the drones are coming from, quote, the home of a sad and lonely divorced father who is using them to spy on his ex-wife as she makes love to more successful and better looking men. wow. what do you think they're talking about? i did not write this question. i can relate to all that except for knowing how to operate a drone. yeah, they showed biden a video of the orb. remember? >> it kind of went from orb to drone. >> yeah. did you notice that? >> so they showed a videotape of the orb and he goes, i don't know what that is. and then that said, they then showed him a picture of the constitution and a banana, and he didn't know what those were either. >> so this just happened right before the show. >> so i don't know if it's verified. i saw it on tiktok, so maybe that's further good start so far, but i heard that one of these things crashed in new jersey. they said it crashed across the street from a lowe's hardware store. they said that there were 100 employees ran out to see it,

and i was astonished that lowe's had 100 employees because i've been in there and i don't know, they skitter away when i'm in there. i would like to say, i think, screw it, we need to blast these out of the sky. that's how i believe. i think we need to blast them out the sky. and i would be happy to introduce the government to all the women i've ever talked to who effortlessly were able to shoot me down. >> oh. go play. >> cyrus. you're out. you're out in jersey. do you still have drones? >> yeah, we see them. and that's the lulls that i shop at. >> it's amazing. yeah, they all the employees show up when i get up there. >> it's weird. >> they even want to carry me around, which is not easy to do. listen, i think it's funny that the. what bethany was that the yes was more clear and gave us a better understanding of what she thought, even though her sources was a friend of a friend of a guy who knew a guy who worked at nasa, wade made way more sense than our

president, who was, first of all, whose bright idea was it to let him speak at night? >> okay, that was that was strike one. >> strike two. outside at night. yeah. and his best idea was some. some are good, some were other people. and they're all up in somebody else's deal. yeah, i'm going to go with the housewife on this one. and that's sad. that's really sad. >> he really did look like they just woke him up. but using those paddles. >> no follow up question, mr. president. tyrus people's press. what's deal mean? yeah. like i don't understand how he's sad. >> yeah. it is. what do you think? what do you think, mr. mackey? >> oh, i agree with everything that's been said so far. but i also feel like we haven't touched on the fact that the government is kind of insulting our intelligence a little bit, you know, because they said

people are mistaking the drones for something that's actually a star. >> really? really. hey, there's a drone at my roof line. oops, that's not a drone. that's rigel. i was off by 860 light years. the government, the government lies so much that even if they were telling the truth in a disaster, i wouldn't believe them at this point. you know, like if they said, like aliens invaded, i wouldn't believe it was aliens. they'd be like, okay, joe, now it's time for the probe. i'm like, that's just. i'm like, that's just mike johnson with the omnibus bill back there, right? oh, very.

>> shannon, you're going to have him on on sunday. right? >> mackey's on the panel. he's our featured guest. yes. >> this sunday. yes. >> can i say one thing about bethany really quickly? i feel like you two like we would be secret friends in another lifetime. but i'm also slightly scared of her. >> that's what i need. i need the fear so i won't eat. >> it's kind of like janice dean, who, by the way, janice, if you know her, she is fox whole time. ride or die. but if you don't know, you're a little bit afraid of her. and you should be. but she would encourage you to eat. so if you're looking for that, you know, maternity thing, she'd be like, you can't have anything except carrots and skinny girl margarita. >> that's it. >> and what new mom doesn't dream of that? >> absolutely. all right. up next, is she still boozing even after losing? but first this. gutfeld holiday memories. >> i'll never forget the time my staff and i sang christmas carols outside greg's place in the city. it was. it was something he surprised us with hot cocoa. he really didn't serve it to us. he threw it at

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support network. let's prepare so we all have a better story to tell. it's coming your way. >> hey, hey. it's. video of the. day. >> is kamala getting wiser or does she need a breathalyzer? our video of the day comes to us from vice president kamala harris. yep, the vice presiden. right now. i bet you forgot she's still in power. she spoke to maryland community college students and this is how she greeted them. >> good morning everyone. have a seat, please. good morning. oh.

>> oh, i just love seeing all of our young leaders. you know, when i look out at all of you, i know. and i feel so strongly the future of our country is bright. it is bright because of all of you. >> it wasn't even noon yet, lady. here's some more. >> the true test of our commitment is whether, in the face of an obstacle, do we throw up our hands? or do we roll up our sleeves? and as we approach. >> what the f was so funny? if she weren't cracking herself up, that place would be as silent as a joe mckee show. oh,

joe. joe devito wrote that. and finally, here's this i ask of you. >> this. that those here and anyone watching that you will not walk away. and i ask you to remember the context in which you exist. yeah, i did that. oh my god, i know i would say i want what she's having, but it would probably kill my baby. >> ha! thank you. >> i really wanted to say that. and they were. >> and then they were like, don't say kill cat. it's too harsh. i'm like, no, it's funny. and then you guys, you proved me right. thank you. tyrus, what is going on here? >> first of all, i think we all

have to understand when she makes her speech. it is 5:00 somewhere. yeah, that's that's that's number one. okay. number two, the reason why they were laughing when she said that speech is because what you don't see is the handlers in the front with a sign going, for the love of god, cheer, or she's going to keep talking cheer. that's a whole other level of drunk. that is like closing times two and the bartenders being nice, and it's 4 a.m. and that's when you start talking about life. she's past the point of drunkenness. it's there's winos going no more. and, you know, at some point the bartender is like, look, we got no more liquor. go home, go home like she's please stop talking. please don't talk anymore. don't do any more speeches in the context of what

it is to speak, because i can't i will no longer play bongos to that because i feel like i'm encouraging alcoholism. >> yeah, jimmy, you know how when phish is at msg, there's those dudes in the parking lot with, like, selling the balloons full of nitrous oxide? i always wondered what they do the rest of the year when phish is not touring, and now i think i might know that was insane. >> she seems like the kind of person where if you you caught her drinking a out of a flask and you took it away after you left, she'd take another flask out of her other pot. yeah, that was crazy. she she that was a disaster. i feel like she. people could show their commitment just if they sat through that. she was talking about commitment. she needs to download uno lingo. >> ooh. >> i did hear in her defense that she did have a nanny during her formative years that spoke gibberish. i get, i guess she was from gibraltar. it's absolutely she was.

>> it was like it was on the wrong speed when you first started playing it. i was like, is this like a gutfeld bit? no, that's actually her. whenever she's talking, i expect her to go press zero to talk to a live person. the only, by the way, a lot of these jokes expire january 20th, so i got to get them in. they expire. i watched it at home on closed captioned and the lady just wrote this job and left and then there was a sign language interpreter and she just shrugged. that should have been the last one. but honestly, the only woman i've ever seen this more repetitive than her is the lady that goes caution. the moving walkway is ending. caution. the moving walk we need. we need to be done with her. tired of it? >> mackie. in a related story, president biden, he told a podcast called pitchfork economics that the reason harris lost was the media. not

not anything. we just saw the media. what do you think? >> yeah, a lot of what he did was blame alternative media. and the interesting thing is they were telling the truth while the real mainstream media was staging press conferences, they gave him the pre-written questions and answers. you know, if we're going to just have, you know, fake staged press conferences, we might as well have actors interview the president, just not alec baldwin, you know. that was that was abrupt. that was very abrupt. and i could also talk about kamala, you know, because she to me is like a super villain because she laughs at her own jokes. and when she has power, a lot of people get killed. but. but the interesting thing is, like, she even laughed when she said, good morning. i don't know what's funny about saying good morning and cops and robbersons is one of my favorite movies.

>> shannon, did he take all your answers? >> we're clearly sharing material. yeah, okay, i did think what my version of seeing her was like. she's delightfully unscathed by a woman at the at the ballot box because she keeps showing up and seems very optimistic. she's talking about the future. she's polling at the top of the 2028 field for democrats, and every republican in washington i know is like, yes, do that. i mean, they're very excited about that possibility. so when she comes out and makes appearances like this, they are definitely cheering for her to be on the ticket. i have to say too, though, president biden, in that interview we did where he blamed the media, heere he d that people aren't blamed the media, he said people are not getting their news from good sources. he said i think people under 25 only 5-7% of them read newspapers and i was like i don't think 5% of them have even read a newspaper or know what it is. there is a massive disconnect there and young voters they flocked to president trump and

numbers that have not happened to republicans or democrats and a long time. [applause] >> kat: i will admit i'm a little bit jealous of her because i have a harder time getting over less embarrassing setbacks than she has. she appears to be having a wonderful time. >> that's what i'm saying. >> she is numb to it all. >> kat: she is like everything is funny everything is wonderful. good for you and away. >> maq he is right because if she was blank a super valid and my movie and she laughed like that i would go let's take it down a notch. >> the problem is she would not be a good super villain because every -- every super villain always tells the good guys their planned. and what would happen when she goes to tell her planet? >> kat: the opportunity economy. whatever that is. up next, will the pelosi's be dismayed if biden bans a stock trade?

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♪ ♪ >> of story in five words. >> kat: story and five words. biden getting revenge against nancy? machi, and assumed to be released interview president biden endorsed a ban on congressional stock trading say nobody in congress should be able to make money off the stock market while they are in congress. could this be his way of getting back at nancy pelosi whose absence has made up a jillion dollars in the stock market? >> i think it is very suspicious because kyle pelosi is one of the greatest stock traders in history and he is a terrible driver. i'm at great driver and i plot -- bought blockbuster video and 2009. i think congress should follow the same rules as the rest of

us. i can't tamper with witnesses i can't get pulled over for a dui and say officer, i'm going to greg gutfeld. i can't get fancy with somebody at a theatre performance of beetlejuice. unless lauren bogert returns my calls. it seems like there is one set of rules for congress and then another for me and george santos. [applause] >> kat: shannon, there is a bipartisan proposal by members of congress and their families. has it gone to vote yet and what do you think of the likelihood? >> there is a lot of talk that never gets across the finish line. by the way, speaker pelosi -- former speaker pelosi has gone against that on a number of occasions. and i have to say that she says that she does not trade in stocks and she has no knowledge of what her husband makes.

i would say when something happens with the supreme court's post, people go crazy on the justice. numerous in-depth pieces on justice... on the flanks that have flown over different homes. when his wife does something he is automatically responsible for it it does not seem to happen with pelosi. >> kat: jamie, as paul pelosi just a really good guess or? >> not all the time. >> kat: not all the time. >> when i'm not here i do a little thing called waiting until it is my turn to come back here. paul i think we have to say it is a possible that nancy, she is married, but it is possible she did not know. i think that is a fair thing to say. for instance, my ex-wife was training bodily fluids with somebody and i had no idea. [laughter] she eventually traded me for another man. i'm trying to get for the benefit of the doubt. >> kat: i saw a man and the

audience emphatically shake his head. or you, okay,, sir? >> that is a more common reaction to my stuff than laughter. i feel like he uses every little thing he gets. i met paul pelosi the next day after a party and keep it a $5 million on the gift of... i heard you talk to gutfeld once and heard he was having a new... and he sold all of his stephen colbert and jimmy kimmel stock the next day. they should be illegal. it is disgusting. you should be punished i'm with trump. he should face punishment. >> kat: tyrus? do you think this is about nancy? getting back at nancy? >> not necessarily about nancy. because nancy and the democrats took away the influence that the biden family no longer has. they can no longer sell influence. they can go up -- not go to and for an interview and say my dad is the president and go that guy

can't speak [bleep] we are good. it is a little bit too late. it is shocking and then biden is like they should not be able to do... they are already up 250 billion whatever the amount of money they are making each year. oh, no,, we won't do it anymore. how much money do they? the only problem is her husband needs to make better choices and the men he meets. [applause] >> kat: shannon, do you think any legislation should also ban the spouses? >> that is a tricky thing because there are limits on what they can do but then people will say with my spouse we don't ever discuss things. like i said in washington that works in one way. if it is a couple where democrats are more liberal people will think that women and men in a marriage or whoever their partner is they think independently but they do not apply the same rules to conservatives. >> i do not care what party you were in if i make $250 million

she would have something to say to me when i got home. >> kat: guaranteed. [applause] >> just had a great day at work made $3 billion and it did not come up at dinner? >> kat: i stop listening when he brings up numbers i can't listen. >> paul pelosi did better than... a from back to the future win she went back in the timeline. making better wagers. >> kat: all right. coming up, my favourite story. can getting a bob help you bury your mom?

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>> is this a wrong? [applause] ♪ ♪ >> kat: tonight on is the wrong? a funeral home in columbus, ohio will serve booze when it opens next year. all we like it here. on the one hand i feel like the dead person might want to be celebrated and booze is not known for its ability to make motions lesser. how would your family handle this? >> the machis would have quite

the shindig. my favourite type of funeral is open casket -- casket, open bar. you never have to tip because you are grieving and i personally enjoy the social lubricant because it helps me pick up widows. but i also get to be the rock you know? people are like i'm really sad and i am like do not worry i brought pretzels. [applause] >> kat: yes. tire is, how would your family handle this? >> first we would have to meet each other. meeting dad at the funeral would be awkward. >> kat: so alcohol could take the edge off. >> first of all i think it is cultural appropriation. i think the irish would be pissed if we took away the funeral. this is not good a lot of truth will come out that we do not need to know. a few drinks in and the wife is thanking god he is gone. and she looks at her sister and dislike do not think i don't

know it is you in 1973 that he was screwing around with and two of your kids look just like mine. it is going two anywhere and at some point the sun he left a little less is going to yell at him and shake and why did you not love me more? the brothers are fighting and i am in the back going i love it. keep the alcohol where it is at. >> kat: jamie, the owner says he wants to quote, shut the businesses reputation of being dark and morbid. >> that happens to a lot of funeral homes. i love this idea. i would like to have my funeral there. i would love to have kamala harris at my funeral. that would be super cool. i think it is a fine idea. help you take the edge off. this got me thinking about dying a lot though. this story. i was thinking if i ever died on gutfeld they would have to remove some of my makeup when involving.

>> kat: that is true. >> you really want to kamala harris at your funeral? you would wake up and you are like shut up. i will live, please stop talking. >> i feel liquefied that my ex-wife would be like at least i am not suffering anymore. >> kat: what do you think, shannon? idea? that idea? >> i love that the funeral director says he wants to be a party planner for dead people. he is telling dislike there will be a celebration. and people handle grief and all kinds of different ways. i think it would be fun when it gets to the reading of the will. attorneys should be had two the alcohol because that is when the truth will come out. people will freak and afterwards everybody is lubricated and then you read the will and the truth comes out. >> i was not going two there but you brought it up. did you guys see the kid he was pushing this idea? he is a perfect example of nepotism. the old man he is like that, i can really help with the funeral home.

>> look how young he is. >> kat: i think is adorable. >> he looks like beavis. instead of doing his job he is like we are going to make it a party and we are going to be dancing. and his dad is like that is all well and good but their loved ones are dying because their mom is dead and you want to give them a party. dance your ass off over there. but him trying to make a funeral home at a bar? it is happy hour drinks at our? it does not work. >> kat: i feel like it can be so awkward. everybody at the funeral was so scared to come up and talk to me when my mom died. and i felt awkward and bad that my situation is making you uncomfortable. had they been drunk i probably would be able to get them off of me. >> i agree i was like my dad's funeral all of these speeches are so sobering. i love this kid, man. i think it is cool that even though he is a vampire he cares.

one of those teenagers. >> kat: and we can be like whatever you care about this issue we can agree on one thing, this manner rides a skateboard. [applause] >> he looks like a young charlie hurt to me. i like him. >> you are right. >> he has a barrette in his hair. >> kat: does he? i can't see. i think he looks like i don't know. >> the best part during a funeral is the impromptu on asked for. >> danger zone. >> kat: i do not think it is that weird, jamie. i think it will be a smashing success. i think bodies will be coming from all over to be buried and columbus, ohio. >> i have this thing where i want to get a laugh during my funeral. and what if we came up and it was an open casket and what if when you came up just my legs were showing. the other thing is what if i had

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>> if you think of videos of pets is as good as it gets all your furry dreams come true it is time to celebrate greg's animal friends. ♪ ♪ celebrate greg's animal friends ♪ ♪ >> kat: even though he is not here we can still do greg's animal friends. tyrus, why don't you go first? >> this is christmas time as you know and this year we decided to gift my pair of tree monitors a swimming pool in their cage and we put it in there and set it up and way where the excited. check it out. [laughter] ungrateful son of old they are they go. i work and i and i put a pool in there i put a fish in there, one of them jumps in and of course the female it was like i don't

know. i want to hot dog. beautiful baby's going to be cool. [applause] >> kat: very cute. jamie? >> one thank you can do if you own i really, really ugly pet is to teach them a trick to distract people from looking at their ugly face. if we can take a look here. we see. >> go go all right get your hand out. good, boy. go go. yes! good boy. [applause] up. go, go, go. spin. good boy! good job! >> impressive it. >> a lot of people look at this and they go that looks like a dog that is good at basketball. i look at this and i think that is a dog that got punched in the

face every time it missed lay up. that is why it got so good. does the skill not distract from how ugly he is? that is how i learned to juggle. >> kat: so cute. >> he was abused. >> i think he is born that way. sometimes ugly is just ugly. >> kat: shannon? >> i have a little raccoon friend i would like you to meet he is also a cautionary tale of. you will notice he is dressed up for christmas time. this is what you look like at your office party when you during too much. [laughter] you think you are looking good. you see he gives up at some point the costume is often. this is what will happen if you let it go at the office party in a way that is not responsible. so he is representing. >> kat: open bar is not a treat it as a trap. >> he is at a funeral right there. >> kat: in ohio. >> hopefully it is not at

new york. >> r.i.p. frederictonian and peanuts the squirrel. >> it is always the raccoon wearing the airplane skate masks. >> i will try two on more of a positive note here. here is a video of a dog jumping on a chair. hear he is. jumping on this chair. look at this chair. it flips. and i blame the chair. it slipped way to -- flipped way too easily. it flipped way to -- like simone biles and a bouncy house. but this is dedicated to greg gutfeld. i have not seen a dog fall off a chair like that since joy be hard. >> i love how he leaves the scene like he had nothing to do with it. i'm not -- i do not know what happened to your not responsible.

>> kat: and then how are they filming. is that like a camera? >> one of those little doggy cameras for the super... >> kat: i feel like that is also a trap. >> watching your dog at home and they are like look at him and the dog thinks he is seeing and hearing voices. probably sat in a chair and they are like, hey,, buddy. and he is like don't do that. he is a dog. i can't live in this house. first of all, why do you have a giant english at wolfhounds in a tiny apartment? get him a backyard. >> i did get one of those i got one of those teddy bear cameras to watch my nanny but by mistake i put it on tripod. it was really obvious it was a camera. >> kat: on that note do not go away because we will be right back.

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[cheering and applause ♪ ♪ >> laura: good evening, everyone, i am